Well wowie wow, wow

A while ago I wrote a post about some ex boyfriends. One of the ones that I wrote about (#3) is one that I’ve kept in touch with over the years. This past Christmas actually marked the 5 yr anniversary of when we met. When I watch the movie “Serendipity“, he is the one that comes to mind. I always wonder if I should have at least tried a long distance relationship with him, but as it was we ended on good terms and have stayed in contact off and on.

The past few months he has been on my mind A LOT. I thought that it was because things have been so hard in the relationship I’m in now, my life is changing so much and I just want someone to love me, and I’m feeling really really lost. Sad, lonely and lost (and I’ve said it over and over, if it wasn’t for this blog and the amazing, beautiful souls that take the time to read and comment while on their own journeys, I don’t think I would have made it this far). Over Christmas I reached out to him again and we texted back and forth for a few weeks during which I told him that I had quit drinking, and gave him a bit of a backstory to it. We both enjoyed overindulging a little on the wine when we were together, but even so, he was shocked to hear that I had quit altogether. Then I didn’t hear from him again for a few weeks.

This morning, in a particularly melancholy mood, I texted him to see how he was doing. We were texting back and forth and I told him “94 days sober for me today!” and he replied “almost a month for me!”. Wait… what??! Apparently he has been trying to quit drinking for almost a year! He has been to counseling and quit for 2 months, then tried moderating, then quit again and over and over. He hasn’t told anyone about it, because… that’s what we do right? We keep it to ourselves and feel shame and embarrassment because we have a hard time moderating a dangerous substance that is continually shoved in our faces, waved under our noses and touted as having “health benefits”. I’m glad that he confided in me, but I’m sad for the people who don’t have anyone to talk to, or outlet to vent on. This journey can be such a lonely one, especially in the beginning.

Advertisements

13 comments

  1. Merry B. Sober · January 27

    I think it is SOOOOOooooo exciting (maybe a few too many o’s) that you have impacted another person in such a profound way. I really haven’t “announced” that is a FOREVER decision. This story makes me think that maybe some of my “villagers” are eager to have a sobriety pal…. hmmmmmm something to think about….

    Liked by 4 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 27

      Merry, I haven’t told many people. The first few times I went out to the pub with my boyfriend after I had quit drinking, I told everyone that I had quit drinking and they looked at me like I had 3 heads and was speaking a different language, or they looked at me in pity. It was a real eye opener! I’m really struggling with this part of it because I feel like it’s so important to be honest, AND help break down the stigma attached to it in case there are others struggling silently. I have had a few people make comments like “Oh, so you’re just taking a break, right, RIGHT?” or “Oh boy, you must have had a really rough night to call it quits for a while!”. I just want to tell them “It’s OK to not drink. It’s fine to sit here in the pub, have a great converstation and a non alcoholic drink in hand. There’s nothing wrong or abnormal about not drinking! Non drinkers are not missing out on anything!”. I have also thought about how to start up some sort of walking group, or meeting group or something for the sobers – some fun, DRY, get togethers where there’s great support and rapport, and it’s not hidden away in a basement or back alley meeting room like AA.
      Oh, and thank you by the way, I think it’s exciting too. I told him how proud I am of him, and I’m secretly tickled pink that he confided in me 🙂

      Liked by 5 people

  2. Hurrahforcoffee · January 27

    Wow and mmmmhhh, does he still live far far away? 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I Quit Wineing · January 27

    I am glad that you texted him back after his silence on hearing you had quit drinking. I bet you were thinking all kinds of things! That is great to hear that he is sober. I hope you can continue to encourage each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. dewyplace · January 27

    I’m glad for him and for you. It’s nice to be confided in as it means he trusts you to do so. I’ve got a friend that confides in me. Our relationship is platonic yet he tells me stuff that I don’t think he tells anyone else. We’ve known each other 30 years plus now.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. tiredoftreadingwater · January 28

    It does sound like you inspired and encouraged him, well done you 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. audreycandoit · January 29

    Hey girl – You’re doing amazing. I have been very, very busy with family issues, but I still try to read your posts – soooo proud of you!! Look at you already past 3 months – woot woot! Big hugs hon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 29

      Audrey! Yay! So good to see you here, thanks for taking the time to drop in and comment 😁 thank you so much, yes I made it past 3 months!! 96 days today!!! Hope all is well with you 💗

      Like

  7. Untipsyteacher · January 29

    Dear SHBAG,
    We never know who we help.
    But your reaching out to him really showed how you inspired him!
    Your idea about starting a walking clue, or a meet up, is great!!
    Do It!!
    xo
    Wendy

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s