A while ago I wrote a post about some ex boyfriends. One of the ones that I wrote about (#3) is one that I’ve kept in touch with over the years. This past Christmas actually marked the 5 yr anniversary of when we met. When I watch the movie “Serendipity“, he is the one that comes to mind. I always wonder if I should have at least tried a long distance relationship with him, but as it was we ended on good terms and have stayed in contact off and on.
The past few months he has been on my mind A LOT. I thought that it was because things have been so hard in the relationship I’m in now, my life is changing so much and I just want someone to love me, and I’m feeling really really lost. Sad, lonely and lost (and I’ve said it over and over, if it wasn’t for this blog and the amazing, beautiful souls that take the time to read and comment while on their own journeys, I don’t think I would have made it this far). Over Christmas I reached out to him again and we texted back and forth for a few weeks during which I told him that I had quit drinking, and gave him a bit of a backstory to it. We both enjoyed overindulging a little on the wine when we were together, but even so, he was shocked to hear that I had quit altogether. Then I didn’t hear from him again for a few weeks.
This morning, in a particularly melancholy mood, I texted him to see how he was doing. We were texting back and forth and I told him “94 days sober for me today!” and he replied “almost a month for me!”. Wait… what??! Apparently he has been trying to quit drinking for almost a year! He has been to counseling and quit for 2 months, then tried moderating, then quit again and over and over. He hasn’t told anyone about it, because… that’s what we do right? We keep it to ourselves and feel shame and embarrassment because we have a hard time moderating a dangerous substance that is continually shoved in our faces, waved under our noses and touted as having “health benefits”. I’m glad that he confided in me, but I’m sad for the people who don’t have anyone to talk to, or outlet to vent on. This journey can be such a lonely one, especially in the beginning.