Heading in to my second Christmas /holiday season sober and I’m feeling really really good about it. I’m at 406 days today, sober and smoke free yippee!
The difference between this year and last year at this time is enormous. Just the feeling of calm and inner peace of no longer being in a terrible relationship. Not being screamed at in private by someone who acts like Mr Wonderful around other people. Not being guilted into going to his friends holiday parties where someone is constantly shoving a drink in your hand. Not having to deal with all of the mental games and the bs and everything else that went along with being in a relationship with a narcissistic bully. I am so glad to be out of that. I am so grateful for my sobriety and my amazing kids, and my adventure partner. A year ago I was struggling so badly trying to make it through each day. I was SO sad and lonely and scared and felt so, sooo trapped. Today I can’t stop smiling and thinking about upcoming hikes and snowshoeing and wintertime activities and adventures, and relaxing, calm and fun holiday festivities with my people. I’m excited to find special little meaningful ways to spoil and treat the ones in my life that I love, and know that they will appreciate it.
What I can’t get over though – is how absolutely alcohol saturated everything is right now. It really really boggles my mind. I’m afraid to even try anyone’s Christmas baking or eat unpackaged chocolates (damn it, cause I love chocolates!) hahaha. It really does surprise me how much marketing has alcohol in it that doesn’t even NEED alcohol in it – ie printed ads for a company that makes holiday dips, but the ads all have glasses of wine in them next to the bowls of dips. WHY???