I wasn’t able to get on here to read posts and updates the past few days and what the heck THERE ARE SO MANY NEW POSTS!! hahaha. I think I’ve kind of caught up! Well I have had an interesting few days. A couple of ex boyfriends have been on my mind a lot lately. My ex husband and I didn’t split up until I was in my mid thirties, and that was after being together for almost 20 years, sooo dating was a whole new thing to me and something that I wasn’t very good at! I had a couple of long term (yr+) relationships that I ended when they started to get more serious as I wasn’t ready at that time for that. They ended on good terms and I have always had the frame of mind that everyone comes into your life for a reason and so I am thankful to all of them and wish almost all of them happiness in life. The guys I dated were all different personalities/ types of people and I learned different lessons from each of them. The first one taught me how to stand up for myself and be more assertive. The second one taught me how to really let loose and have fun (this turned out to be a bit problematic though, and led to the love of that feeling of losing control & blacking out). The third one taught me how to love truly, deeply and kindly (this one broke my heart by moving east to pursue a business opportunity. He wanted to continue the relationship and I ended it because I was sure that I would be terrible at a long distance relationship. We have kept in touch as friends.) After #3 I went back to #2 feeling sad and lonely, but soon realized that that relationship was not a good one and ended it (again) on a friendly note. Then I met a guy at a bar (#4) and thought we had a fun connection – a love of traveling as we talked about that a lot. We went on one trip where we just bar hopped the entire time. Over the few months that we were together we ended up drinking more and talking less until he broke up with me 2 days after Christmas AFTER he had started seeing someone else and happily accepted all the awesome & thoughtful xmas gifts I gave him. (this one I haven’t stayed in touch with, and don’t really give a RA if he’s happy or not) Then I met #5 and he is the one I’m with now. I often wonder how things would have been different if I hadn’t met #2 or #4. Would I be here, writing about sobriety? What would have flipped my switch? Anyway, funny thing – I was at a meeting in the city yesterday and when I was walking back to my car #4 was walking down the street that intersected with mine but he was heading to the pub that was there. My stomach did a little nervous flip and I thought “ughh that was a close call to being in an awkward situation!” (And by awkward I mean that I would averted my gaze and pretended not to see him and my face would have turned beet red because I’m not good at pretending anything). Then today I went to get my hair done and my hairdresser has apparently left that salon and they had changed my appointment to a different hairdresser (without letting me know), and right now I’m trying to figure out what to do with the BRIGHT ORANGE SPOTS near the front of my hairline that were supposed to be dark red chunky sections in my dark hair. I’m trying to laugh about it. I’m not succeeding too well. Ahhhh this crazy life 😦
FIFTY SEVEN DAYS!!!