Why hello there!
It’s been a while… and I actually can’t believe how fast time is going by and how many things I’ve managed to do since the last time I was here (was it seriously back in September that I wrote on here last??!! HOWWW has time gone by that quickly??!!)
Ok let’s see… STILL SOBER, still smoke free – it has been 924 days according to my app, which is 2 1/2 years. Wild… It is definitely easier now for sure, but there’s still the occasional time that a craving or urge or all-consuming desire to drink will blindside me. I just ride them out. I know that they’ll pass and that when they do I will be so grateful that I did not give in. Sometimes I play out in my mind “Ok what will happen if I have a drink or two tonight to get through this rough time or just because I feel like being social and drinking?” and then I think of the pretty much worst case scenario, because – why glorify or romanticize it?
I have been doing a lot of work on myself working through the feelings and emotions and all that fun stuff. It’s quite interesting when you can’t escape it! I truly feel like such a different person – so much more calm and nurturing and understanding and so so proud of myself. I still have some bad days, but the good FAR outnumber the hard ones.
I have been doing a lot of work on my house too! I started off by replacing a few light fixtures. And then I spent a LOT of time thinking about what to do with my dark little kitchen and I decided to paint the cupboards and walls and put a backsplash up. That’s a really big job by the way – painting the cupboards… much more time consuming than I had anticipated haha. For the backsplash I went with a cool metallic looking glue-down plastic one by Fasade. OOooo LOVED it! Super easy. Super eye-catching. Seriously my kitchen now makes my heart happy when I walk into it. So thennnn I decided to redo the bathroom. Yikes. New toilet, new vanity, new floor and installed a backsplash behind vanity & toilet wall (went with same fasade brand, different tiles… very much a wow factor). This one pushed me to my limits, but I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of myself for taking it on. It was not easy at all, especially with it being such an old house.
I have been doing a lot of work on my relationships with friends and family. This is a tough one. I have had to recently cut a few friends out of my life. One I haven’t really enjoyed being friends with since I quit drinking. I think that I may have mentioned her off and on in here. I found that I would feel anxious at the thought of getting together with her and then feel angry or unsettled afterwards. The other friend has been a friend since childhood but the past few years have definitely put a strain on our friendship. This has given me extra time and energy to nurture friendships and relationships that I truly cherish.
I have been doing some traveling. I found a ridiculously cheap deal on a trip to China ($598 all inclusive for flights, hotels, tours, most meals, etc for 10 days/8nights). My boyfriend/adventure partner and I took the chance (we honestly thought it might be a scam and had a whole backup plan in case we got to the airport and we weren’t actually on a flight to China). Anyway – REALLY GREAT EXPERIENCE. Really great. If anyone has any questions, feel free to PM me or ask in comments below and I’m happy to answer. I have a national board meeting coming up on the East Coast and my boyfriend/adventure partner is going to go with me and we’re taking an extra 9 days to hike, camp, drive and explore the atlantic provinces. So excited about that.