Keeping it calm

Creeping up on 6 months of not smoking or drinking! I’ve noticed that the past week or so I’ve been feeling a lot calmer and happier. Maybe it is the anticipated arrival of Spring (we’re still waiting for it up here in the middle of Canada).

I’ve had a couple of things to deal with lately, that I have actually given myself a mental “hey, you’re handling this a lot better than you would have before!” high-5. The first one is that I have to head to Alaska in a month for a work related thing for a few days. I have never been and decided to extend my trip there to a week so that I could do sightseeing and a few small road trips. I was hoping that my boyfriend would come as well as he has never been there but alas it is not his type of “sit on the beach with drink in hand” vacation so I’m going alone. I tried to talk a girl friend into going but she can’t either. So my flights are booked, and I booked a rental car already and I have been busy planning out my touristy stuff and road trips and I’m SUPER excited about it! I’ve done a bit of solo traveling so it doesn’t bother me too much but…. I do have a little pout on about it. I honestly have never felt this lonely in a relationship EVER. It seems to be exasperated by me quitting drinking and trying to navigate the whole relationship thing while sober, trying to re-explore the whole socializing with people thing, etc. I’m not getting uptight about it though or freaking out. I’m just moving forward, more calmly than I would have when I was drinking.

 

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34 comments

  1. onebottleoneglass · April 19

    Sounds like you’re going to have a great trip with lots of time to ponder things! I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely in your relationship. It really is polarizing when you’re with a partner that hasn’t changed any of their ways. Calm and focused is the best way to take on a situation, and I am proud of you!

    Smoking vs drinking. . . what has been more of a challenge when it comes to urges? I quit drinking, but I’m still smoking. Curious if you basically apply the same logic to both?

    Liked by 3 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · April 19

      It was/ is funny actually – the whole smoking vs drinking urges when quitting for me. I used the patch to help with quitting smoking and after the first few weeks it went pretty well. I have kind of joked about it to a few close friends saying that it’s almost like my poor body is so confused it doesn’t know what it wants sometimes. Do I want a smoke? A drink? What?!! The drinking urges have been far worse though for sure. The other day I had a meeting and I was walking across a parking lot and there was one full untouched cigarette laying on the ground. I saw it and I instantly wanted it and that’s probably the first time I have had an urge to smoke. And let me tell you – I was craving a smoke for 2 days after that. So weird. Good luck!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bluebird487 · April 19

    Way to go – yay you! I’ve been to Alaska and it was phenominal – it is such a memorable and breathtaking trip – I can almost guarantee that you will have a perspective shift. Doing it alone can be scary, you are brave and strong. Enjoy it – take in the experience and take less pictures. Your life is a part of this natural beauty.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. soberinvegas · April 19

    alaska! so jealous! definitely on my bucket list 🙂 totally understandable that you need a bit to pout, but so excited for you and your adventure!! we will all be cheering you on!! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Elizabeth · April 19

    Congrats on 6 months! Drinking is one thing but both? You are awesome! As far as your trip to Alaska- I would go with you in a heartbeat! Just a word of caution- and only because I am thinking of myself- we are all different- traveling when no one knows me is always a danger. Just sayin’. PS Growing in sobriety may mean you need a more adventurous boyfriend. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Elizabeth · April 19

      Only because you’re not being “held” back. But then, maybe you will be a blessing to him.

      Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · April 20

      Thanks Elizabeth! I’m a little worried about the trip sobriety wise as any solo trips for me before have involved drinking at the airports, on the plane, sitting in hotel lounges and then bottles of wine in my hotel room… but I’m feeling pretty confident with this one, I think I will be so busy sightseeing and stuff and I have a fear of getting eaten by a grizzly bear so I wouldn’t want to be drunk stumbling around Alaska for sure lol 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  5. ainsobriety · April 19

    A week in Alaska sounds exciting!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Dewy · April 19

    Sounds exciting . Doing it alone has its perks you do end up making more of an effort to talk to strangers .
    Have an awesome trip 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · April 20

      Haha Dewy I am always talking to strangers. I unfortunately don’t have the “stranger danger” warning signal in my little brain. I’ve met some really cool, interesting people though, and no serial killers (that I know of) 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dewy · April 20

        😂 me too though I can sort of tell. The ones that gives bad vibes I run first 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Mark David Goodson · April 20

    Wow! Congrats on your sobriety. If there’s a place (I imagine) you can just enjoy the calmness of it all, it would definitely be Alaska. I was there once a few years ago. I forget what time of year this means for the days. They’ll either be way long or way short? In between because it’s spring? Anyway, enjoy the trip.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · April 20

      Thanks Mark! I’m there for the midnight sun I think, or very close! 19.5 hours of daylight when I’m there lol. (It’s dec/Jan that has 4.5-5 hrs of daylight yikes). I grew up in the mountains and have lived on the prairies for the last 20 years. The inner peace I feel when I’m around mountains and wilderness is hard to describe. I think this trip will be really good for me, hopefully help me rebalance. Thanks for dropping by! Have a great day!

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Untipsyteacher · April 20

    I am so very happy you are just moving forward, learning how to live in a new way.
    It’s hard at first, but things tend to sort themselves out after a bit.
    I would love to go to Alaska!
    Denali park is supposed to be beautiful with lots of wild life.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · April 20

      The more I am trying to plan out my 3 extra days there, the more I already want to go back for a month! There’s so many things to do and see! Wow! It’s never really been on my radar because I live on the Canadian prairies and our winters are so horrible that vacations to me have usually been anywhere but more north lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Untipsyteacher · April 20

        I was wondering about that! Ha.
        But if you live away from the mountains and water, then Alaska would be different!
        xo

        Liked by 1 person

      • shehidbehindtheglass · April 20

        I think I have the same mindset with it that some people in the states have with Canada: it’s cold there, and winter all the time and they have pet polar bears and use dog sleds for transportation (just kidding on the last 2). In actual fact Ithink their winters are milder than mine haha

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I Quit Wineing · April 20

    I would love to visit Alaska. It is on my never ending Bucket List!
    If you are feeling lonely in your relationship now then how is it going to be down the track when you are married with children. A partner who is not partnering with you in life is no partner at all. I will admit that a lot of interest form during the relationship, growing together is part of the fun, but it sounds like your boyfriend is stuck in his own little world. In your heart of hearts you know what is best. Ignore my words if they do not register as being the slightest bit true for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · April 20

      No more kids for me! I’m mid 40’s and my boyfriend is 55. That doesn’t mean that it won’t get lonelier as time goes on. I am worried about that but I also don’t want to rush into any decisions now while everything is in such turmoil and we’re both trying to adjust to my new lifestyle. Poor old guy is so set in his ways I think it’s just making him hold onto them tighter haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I Quit Wineing · April 21

        For some reason I always pictured you in your early twenties! Men are definitely stuck in their ways, especially as they get older. I agree that making any changes whilst going through sobriety is not a good idea. Our emotion are all over the place.

        Liked by 1 person

      • shehidbehindtheglass · April 21

        That’s funny because I always picture myself in my early twenties too 😅

        Liked by 1 person

      • Blahdablahdablahda · April 21

        Embrace It! I will believe you xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • shehidbehindtheglass · April 22

        😊

        Like

  10. Hurrahforcoffee · April 22

    Your trip sounds amazing enjoy every minute of it. I applaud you and how you are navigating your relationship wile he is still drinking. I’ve turned into an alcohol nazi in my house. My husband has lapsed a couple of times and I lost my shit. Not my proudest moment but I have been roped back into that life so many times. We drank together a lot. We’ve been together for many years and drinking was our hobby and our way of bonding. I’m not going back there so he can forget about it. I know what you mean about feeling lonely, a couple of years ago when I was doing a long sober stretch he carried on drinking. I was never on the same wavelength so communication was strained and there was no real connection because he was drunk a lot of the time. I hope an answer surfaces for you about this, everyone story is different. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  11. onthemend12 · April 23

    One of the greatest things about being sober is being capable of self love! Being able to give yourself a high 5 for not checking out, staying sober and taking life as it comes. So glad to read you’re doing just that. Keep in touch with all of us on your journeys. One day at a time! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. janebare · April 25

    Amazing work!
    Everyday becomes easier and easier – as your body and mind thank you for being so good to them.

    Liked by 1 person

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