608 or so crazy days, but I’m still here! (Update- I just noticed that it was exactly 20 months when I wrote this! Holy crow that went by quickly!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ)

I’ve been struggling off and on though with moods and how to deal with feelings (gross – feelings?! What do I do now that I’m not numbing or hiding from those things?!). Other days I’m awesomely happy and blissful. It’s a roller coaster for sure, but I have really been working through the rough days. I’m a worrier and I take everything personally, and I know that I need to work on both of those.

My adventure partner and I managed to get away for a week of road tripping, camping, exploring and fun. It was jam packed and very long days and lots of time in the vehicle but I think that it really really solidified the fact that we are really great at traveling together. It didn’t start off great though as we left on a Monday after a weekend that my mom had come out for a visit. I have struggled with a relationship with my mom for a very long time and this is the first time that I have spent time with her in person since I quit drinking. Just talking to her on the phone during early sobriety was enough to send me into a tailspin, fighting insane cravings to get blackout drunk. So needless to say, I was in a bit of a funk from when I dropped her off at the airport on the Sunday to shortly after when we left for our roadtrip on the Monday. He is such a gentle and kind soul though, and funny too, so I was able to kick the mood relatively quickly (although for a while there I’m sure he was pretty happy that he lives 6+ hours away from me and rarely has to see me in that kind of mood! haha.)

I have been dealing with (and trying to work through) a lot of anger lately too. I honestly think that part of it is because I’m eating pretty crappily and I’m not getting as much exercise and outdoor time as I need. I have been swamped working two jobs and falling behind on pretty much everything. Feeling overwhelmed for me = stress eating and very poor time management. I started having problems with my sciatic nerve too, which has made it painful to walk/run/hike.

Anyway… speaking of poor time management, I have a huge stack of work on my desk that I need to get to. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  1. S_MW · June 25, 2018

    I’ve read a few blogs in the same vein as this and with the same issues as you’re having, but I’m sure you’ll have read them already. 600+ is amazing. You’re a true inspiration, especially as you’re being honest about your feelings. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · June 25, 2018

      Thank you for visiting and taking the time to leave a note. I think it’s very important for people who are blogging about sobriety to be honest about how hard it can be sometimes. It was so reassuring for me in early sobriety to read about the struggles that other people were going through and to know that I wasn’t alone. On the flipside though it is really great a lot more of the time ๐Ÿ™ƒ โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ainsobriety · June 25, 2018

    Thatโ€™s great.
    Take 15 minutes every day to stretch. See what happens.
    Small changes can start us on the right road!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. MeditationAndNoBooze · June 25, 2018

    I totally agree. 15min stretch. 5min meditation. Small changes, step by step!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dewy · June 25, 2018

    He sounds divine . Thatโ€™s the person you need in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. NoWineImFine · June 25, 2018

    600 days, way to go! The ups and downs, highs and lows … so many challenges but here you are to share your journey and for others to benefit from.
    Thank you for sharing. ๐Ÿ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hurrahforcoffee · June 26, 2018

    Hi there! So good to hear from you! I’ve also been eating rubbish and getting little sleep so can relate to everything you say.
    I’ve also been dealing with anger….here is s book that is proving to be very helpful:

    I’m glad you are still traveling and have found someone who enjoys it too. Anne’s advice is ace as usual so I will try that too. 15 minutes yin yoga:) xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · June 26, 2018

      Hurrah! So glad to hear I’m not the only one, this is why I love this blog so much. Thank you for the book suggestion โค๏ธ


  7. Untipsyteacher · June 26, 2018

    Yay! Iโ€™m glad you had fun on your trip!
    Iโ€™m sorry about the nerve.. when that happened to me stretching and acupuncture really helped.
    Funny you mentioned anxiety, as I have been struggling with that, too…and my eating is up and down.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Untipsyteacher · June 26, 2018

    Oh cool!!

    Liked by 1 person

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