Jingly balls

Heading in to my second Christmas /holiday season sober and I’m feeling really really good about it. I’m at 406 days today, sober and smoke free yippee!

The difference between this year and last year at this time is enormous. Just the feeling of calm and inner peace of no longer being in a terrible relationship. Not being screamed at in private by someone who acts like Mr Wonderful around other people. Not being guilted into going to his friends holiday parties where someone is constantly shoving a drink in your hand. Not having to deal with all of the mental games and the bs and everything else that went along with being in a relationship with a narcissistic bully. I am so glad to be out of that. I am so grateful for my sobriety and my amazing kids, and my adventure partner. A year ago I was struggling so badly trying to make it through each day. I was SO sad and lonely and scared and felt so, sooo trapped. Today I can’t stop smiling and thinking about upcoming hikes and snowshoeing and wintertime activities and adventures, and relaxing, calm and fun holiday festivities with my people. I’m excited to find special little meaningful ways to spoil and treat the ones in my life that I love, and know that they will appreciate it.

What I can’t get over though – is how absolutely alcohol saturated everything is right now. It really really boggles my mind. I’m afraid to even try anyone’s Christmas baking or eat unpackaged chocolates (damn it, cause I love chocolates!) hahaha. It really does surprise me how much marketing has alcohol in it that doesn’t even NEED alcohol in it – ie printed ads for a company that makes holiday dips, but the ads all have glasses of wine in  them next to the bowls of dips. WHY???

 

24 comments

  1. youboozeyoulooze · December 5, 2017

    Love this. It’s great inspiration for someone who has never done a sober Christmas since childhood 😩. I’m going to catch up on your whole blog now!x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Finding a Sober Miracle · December 5, 2017

    Fantastic story! I can’t help but think about all the people that will read this and find hope of getting out of their own unhappy situation. Yay you!
    I agree with the whole alcohol marketing deal. It’s everywhere. Have you noticed in the women’s section, there are always these clever little sayings printed on everything: “Wake me up at wine o’clock!” It’s so overdone I can hardly stand it.
    Here’s a great saying for a needlepoint pillow: “Heavy drinking among women has been normalized, and it’s killing them in record numbers.”
    Cheers!

    Liked by 4 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · December 5, 2017

      Thank you! I sure hope that there is someone out there who reads this and finds hope of getting out of a similar situation. It’s a very scary, sad and lonely situation to be in and life can be so much better and brighter than that. 💗
      Uhhh I know exactly what you mean by all the little sayings on everything!’ Craziness

      Liked by 1 person

    • Newchapter · December 6, 2017

      That did make me chuckle. I might have one made!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. gwennym · December 5, 2017

    Hurray for you! Those of you who have made the lifesaving decision to quit booze are super-heroes!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ainsobriety · December 5, 2017

    I’m so happy for you. Being the target of a narcissist is horrible…because they make it seem like they are always right.
    You have come so far.

    Booze is everywhere. Over the years my views on this change. But generally I find it sad that our society make alcohol so vital. So integral to fun.

    I’m happy to be able to drive around completely unconcerned about check stops!

    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · December 6, 2017

      Thank you so much Anne. I had to do a lot of reading on narcissists after I quit drinking in order to deal with my feelings of anger towards myself for letting myself be treated that way. It’s a bizarre and scary situation to be in, and one I hope to never be in again.
      Driving through check stops without a single worry is awesome!

      Like

  5. saoirsek · December 6, 2017

    Fantastic, it’s so much nicer isn’t it🙂 I was at a small gig last night and there was a pissed couple talking through it. The singer eventually stopped and asked them to shut the f up. Sad thing is I was that girl… Also walk,in home through Dublin the 2hole town seemed to smell,of vomit, not joking. Silly season starts early here…just around St Patrick’s day🙂I’m heading into my Eight Christmas sober and it can still be difficult, but it’ll pass. Well done you s x

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · December 6, 2017

      Thanks Saoirse! It is so much nicer 🙂 OMG, how bad is it when the singer has to stop and tell someone to shut their pie hole! Glad that wasn’t you last night haha 🙂 I have been in a few places where there is a drunk person acting annoyingly or messy drunk and I just cringe thinking about how that used to be me. Eeep!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. saoirsek · December 6, 2017

    I meant I was that girl 8 years ago…not last night lol

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dewy · December 6, 2017

    Love it. Congrats not only on the alcohol free days but also on a new life. You’ve come so far from the days I first stumbled on this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · December 6, 2017

      Thanks chickie ❤ I often read back through my first few months of blogs and give myself a mental pat on the back on what I made it through.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Mark David Goodson · December 6, 2017

    You’ve got this! I’ll be thinking of you this holiday season.

    I tell you though, there are those stressors aren’t they? I was asked to string lights just yesterday and I’m damn glad I have a sponsor to call after I finished. I had to redo them twice. Then I got it right where I wanted but led with the wrong end so I had nothing to plug into. I was so mad!

    Liked by 3 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · December 6, 2017

      Oh man, I had the same thing happen to me with Christmas tree lights! 🙂 I do like telling those kinds of stories a while later and laughing about it though, like “AND THEN… after getting all prickled and scratched up by the tree, while making sure that the lights strand was just perfectly placed (tucked into the branches closer to the trunk of the tree), I get to the very top and realize… I’m holding the wrong end in my hand! I’m standing there on a chair with my knees knocking together due to my fear of heights and I’m seriously contemplating hanging an extension cord from the ceiling so that I don’t have to do this AGAIN”. Seriously, I do stuff like that so often that all I can do is laugh at myself about it.
      Also seriously, thanks for keeping me in your thoughts this holiday season – I really appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mark David Goodson · December 6, 2017

        Oh no! Haha. I’m there often. I don’t want to sit and think about that type of stuff before I do it. Then I rush and need to do it all over again anyway!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Hurrahforcoffee · December 7, 2017

    I am so happy for you and so proud of you! You are amazing! Yes Booze is everywhere …I’m just trying to remember what is actually in that drink…its just shit:)

    Like

  10. Untipsyteacher · December 7, 2017

    So HAPPY for you, Donna!!
    I am thrilled you are in a good place, and sober and having adventures!!!
    Yes, the booze is everywhere, but we don’t care, because we know the secret of being happy!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  11. morethanmyshare · December 9, 2017

    This is my second sober Christmas too! I am looking forward to it with excitement and wonder rather than fear and anxiety. last year was hard, but it’s the first Christmas I really remember in a long time. and This year is only going to be better because I am better! sober on!

    Liked by 1 person

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