Stress on top of stress on top of stress

I have been dealing with a LOT of stress lately (mostly at work). I have one staff member who is causing so many problems and doing things that I have never – IN MY CAREER – had to deal with before. It came to a head just over a week ago. It took every single ounce of control I had to not buy a bottle of wine on the way home that night. My mind kept going to all of the alcohol that the person I live with has in the house. I was so stressed out and so worried about what was going on at work that I just wanted to escape and hide and forget about it. I just kept telling myself “That’s no longer an option baby, so you better come up with some other things to do instead. Curl up on the couch and binge on netflix? Go for a bike ride? Call a friend to go for a walk or hike? Go to a movie?”

I have been back to drinking that SanPelligrino Lemonada (tart lemon) and the real gingery gingerales again like I was at the beginning of sobriety and eating boatloads of chocolate and/or sweet stuff. I have been feeling squirrely for lack of a better word. I want to run away and hide. That has always been me – I hate, hate, hate, hate HATE conflict of any type.

I took off for the weekend and did lots of hiking and exploring, sat in small coffee shops and bought ice cream, in towns hours and hours away. I came back with a clearer head but as soon as I got back to work on Tuesday (it was a long weekend here) I could feel the anxiety and panic creeping in. I wanted (and still want to) stick my head in the sand and not deal with any of it, but I have been forcing myself to try to deal with it head on, hands shaking and face flushed with frustration lol.

Still sober! 289 days today, and my sobriety clock had a very apt saying for me today πŸ™‚


Life is very, very stressful at home lately too. I feel like I’m floundering everywhere. Oh well, this too shall pass πŸ™‚ Or as my favourite song goes “I will survive!!” πŸ™‚

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21 comments

  1. ainsobriety · August 10

    Who can help you at work? HR? Your boss?

    It ruck for work to be distressing. We are there so much.
    Great job putting your needs first. Keep doing that.
    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · August 10

      Thanks Anne. I’m in a pretty unique work situation which is usually pretty great, unless there’s this type of situation. I have reached out to a few people that I think can provide me with some advice on how to deal with this, but it’s taking a while. It’s a good experience for me though I guess… in a way… maybe it will teach me some patience? πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

      • ainsobriety · August 10

        Other people are complicated….

        Liked by 2 people

      • shehidbehindtheglass · August 10

        My problem is that I try to be as empathetic as possible but in this situation I honestly think that there may be a higher motive (ie monetary via lawsuit or something). I have always been lucky to have great staff so this is throwing me for a loop. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Untipsyteacher · August 10

    Hi Donna,
    Work stress is one of my major reasons for drinking. It’s hard.
    You really took care of yourself though, and I am so impressed with how you can just go off by yourself exploring!
    298 Days!!!
    Woo Hoo!!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · August 10

      Thanks Wendy! I used to just go off by myself drinking so maybe this was a natural step for me lol and sort of joking
      πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  3. tiredoftreadingwater · August 10

    I feel for you, work stress and conflict is horrible, I don’t handle it well either. Well done for staying strong in the face of it all. 289 days is awesome! πŸ™‚ x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dewy · August 10

    I hate conflict. I just run away aka resign even if it’s to my loss. I feel for you. Hang in there. You’re doing great.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. moderndaygrl · August 10

    Well done lady… work stress is also one of my number one triggers. Fuck work!! Fuck people!! Just want to down it away with a bottle of wine… BUT, you know, I know, we all know that is never the answer. Seems like a good idea at the idea at the time but nope, never is. Good work, and take some time for yourself πŸ’™

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Elizabeth · August 11

    Trials and tests- tests and trials! And you won’t just survive- you will thrive! Great going on 289 and taking care of yourself. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  7. winoholicblog · August 11

    Good for you and not caving into stress with the work drama. I completely agree with you, I hate conflict too and will do anything to avoid it but sometimes you wind up getting stepped on. Can you assert yourself with the person? Do you have a work confidant to run things by? Keeping busy, hiking, walking, biking is all great for stress release. Treat yourself to a new outfit or night out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · August 11

      Thank you. I was able to get some advice from a peer on what to do to (hopefully) gain some control of the situation. It is amazing how much going for a hike or walk or bike can make me feel so much more grounded! Sobriety has really made me appreciate nature more than I ever have. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. mikeykjr · August 12

    No matter where you go we’re going to find stress in the workplace. Many of us struggle with this on a daily basis. ** raises right hand while standing on his tippy toes **. My past employer had an Employee Assistance Program where I could talk to someone who worked in the same field or had such experiences. Smaller employer aren’t so fortunate. My current employer has no such plan – I miss it greatly. While I attempt to refrain from it on my blog, sometimes it’s necessary. Many times I use my blog to vent, complain, whine, etc. Afterward, I take the time to really READ IT. Ask some simple questions? What the hell am I complaining about? Is it THEM or ME? Since it’s usually something we have going on – What’s really going on with me? Even in your short post (yet I’m not expert), I believe you may have answered these questions – “Life is very, very stressful at home lately too. I feel like I’m floundering everywhere.” If it makes you any better, I vented to my neighbor’s chickens yesterday like they were real people. (Oh wait, I do that daily.) Congrats on your continued sobriety too!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. suburbanbetty · August 13

    OMG, we have some shit-disturbers at work. I feel like their purpose in life is stop everyone from getting anything done so they can spin in a circle. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, PEOPLE?? For a lot of those fuckers it’s about control. I worked with a lady who’s family ran her ragged, she was taking care of her mom and her stepkids and under a lot of pressure, so when she came to work she had to RULE. Then I have a lady who I know for a fact drinks too much (sound familiar?) and she’s mostly angry on Mondays (HO, we’re quite sure of it), that’s when the bitchy emails come out. Haha! Anyway, ride it out, when it’s all over you’ll still be sober and awesome. Good job on your 289!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · August 14

      Thank you! And lol! Your comments always make me laugh 😁 You’re so right though, it is about control for a lot of people who behave that way.

      Like

  10. soberinvegas · August 22

    hang in there! I know it’s so much easier said than done–deep breaths!! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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