Oh Canada! Happy day!

I live on the Canadian prairies and yesterday was Canada day! As it is also Canada 150, there were lots of extra little things going on too. 

One of those extra special little things is that I’m now a grandma to a beautiful little boy! He was 2 weeks late and almost 10lbs! 

The labor was very long and ended in emergency c-section, and I stayed for all of it. The other side grandfather who I was sitting with most of the time slipped home a few times to “calm his nerves”. When the choice was made to go with a c-section, both of the other grandparents took off for home to “relax”. It was another moment where I was so happy that I’m not drinking any more. I stayed at the hospital. I was there when he entered the world and I was there when my son came out to share the news and I got to see, unfiltered, the look of pure pride and joy on his face. I got to share so many moments of it with my sisters and mom and happy new friend via phone & text. Thank goodness for modern technology, it sure can make times like that feel less lonely. 

The thought of drinking has been on my mind a lot lately. Thankfully it hasn’t been strong urges, but it feels like it’s just there lurking. I’m battling intense feelings of loneliness lately and I just want to curl up and withdraw from the world. I know that this is due to the situation at home and what I’m dealing with there, so I’m fighting this by getting out and hiking, walking and being honest with a few friends about what is going on and the behaviour I’m dealing with. 

Happy Canada day to my fellow Canadians! Hope you all had a safe, fun and wonderful day yesterday.šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦ā¤ļøšŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦

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17 comments

  1. MrsMac · July 2

    Congratulations Grandma!! How wonderful!!! And to be there in the moment, unfiltered, sober!
    Also, well done, hiking and getting out doors to help with your feelings. I too find that moving your body and being outside helps my mood tremendously. X

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Elizabeth · July 2

    Congratulations Gran MaMa! Moving the body is so good for the mind- doing the opposite of what we feel like doing and pushing through reaps great rewards. Great going girl!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. saoirsek · July 2

    Yay! Fantastic new. Happy Canada day, my Dad lived there during the 50’s working in the uranium mines. So wonderful that you recognised the benefits of being sober. Regarding the drinking thought, it’s the old Hunger Anger Loneliness Tiredness thing. Keep posting and again fab fab news S x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Untipsyteacher · July 2

    Happy Grandma Day!!
    Being sober is wonderful…when my dad was drinking, my brother and his wife would not let him hold the baby unless they knew he was sober. He also couldn’t be around her when she was a toddler by himself, as they couldn’t trust him.
    It was really hard.
    We loved visiting Canada! It’s our good neighbor to the North!
    I am glad you are aware of your feelings of loneliness, and the stress at home.
    This is hard and I am glad you are reaching out, even when it feels like a chore.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Wendy!! I saw my dad go through that when he was drinking and he never had a relationship or even got to see some of his grandchildren before he died because of his drinking. It was so heartbreaking.
      It has been really hard at home, but I feel so much better now that I’m getting out of the house more and taking time to myself. I have been throwing myself into work as well, which is something that I really neglected during the first few months of sobriety.
      Thanks Wendy! xo

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ainsobriety · July 2

    Congratulations.
    I find reading gives me that escape. I had forgotten how much I love a good novel.
    I hope hiking does that for you.
    Take care!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks! It really does, it just calms me right down and relaxes me. I feel so much more grounded and peaceful when I’m out there hiking (until I hear a snap of a twig or rustle of branches and then I’m scared that I’m going to get eaten by a bear) šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. morethanmyshare · July 2

    This was my first sober Canada day! it s was lovely. the fireworks were so crisp and bright. and i remember them!! Happy Canada Day to you too!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hurrahforcoffee · July 4

    Congratulations on being a granny, that is great news! Please don’t make the same mistake I did. I ‘angry drank’ at my husband because I was so sick of his drinking (there is NO logic there I realise that in retrospect) Do you think he has problem? Have you tried Alanon?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks sweetie! No I haven’t tried Alanon. There are a lot of issues going on with the relationship, and right now I’m just trying to do my own thing and stay out of his way. I’ve come to realize that I really need to focus on myself and spend time with my kids and friends. or in nature lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hurrahforcoffee · July 7

        Yes I can understand that. I need to learn to focus on myself too instead of getting drawn into my husbands stuff. X

        Like

  8. talesfrommyliver · July 4

    Congratulations Grandma! Stay sober so you won’t miss a single minute with the new little guy. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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