I’m sober, not boring

I have struggled a lot since I quit drinking 241 days ago. Struggled to deal with my wild emotions, struggled to try to fit in and not feel left out, struggled with cravings and sadness and loneliness and just so many things, even rashes and skin irritations and extra body weight that absolutely refuses to give up camp no matter what I do.

I made a new friend recently, someone who “gets me” – who has the same quirky sense of humour and love of adventure. Someone who is super easy to talk to and laugh with and has just been a breath of fresh air or ray of sunshine in my little life the past few weeks. I’ve always had a very close circle of friends (ie only a few), and part of my struggle since quitting drinking is that they all just don’t get it. They’re nice, they try to be supportive, but they make a big deal about it. It always gets brought up or worked into the conversation like I’m something that they need to poke a stick at and discuss what to do with. Life at home has been pretty much hell on earth for me and has added immensely to the feelings of loneliness these past 8 months. My new friend doesn’t need alcohol to be friendly and outgoing and super duper funny, they may only drink one drink the entire night once a week, if that. I feel SO relaxed and more myself around them than I have in a long, long time, and I am absolutely terrified I’m going to ruin it. I ruined a lot of friendships (and relationships) when I was drinking. Not even fights, just people getting tired of putting up with my sh*t and slowly drifting away. I have that feeling now like “oh godddd what if I do something? What if I scare them away? Be myself? I’m still learning what that is!” I am just enjoying it day by day. That’s all we have I guess.

Advertisements

21 comments

  1. Elizabeth · June 23

    Congratulations on 241 days my friend! True friends don’t “poke sticks” at us. I so get how you feel because that’s what my supposed work “family” did to me. It can be very hurtful. Relax and enjoy that new friendship.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. ainsobriety · 29 Days Ago

    Just be you. Try not to change how you are or what you say to make things work. That’s when they fall apart!
    I’m sure your friend likes you as you are naturally. It’s the easiest way to be!

    You are doing awesome!

    Liked by 6 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · 27 Days Ago

      Thank you so much! It has been such a crazy journey so far. You’re so right, acting naturally and being myself is the easiest way to be πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      Have a great week!
      Donna

      Liked by 1 person

  3. MrsMac · 29 Days Ago

    I second to just be yourself. I know it can be hard sometimes because you want people to like you. But remember, you want them to like YOU not a weird trying to please version of you?!? Does that make sense.

    Liked by 4 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · 27 Days Ago

      YES MrsMac, that makes total sense! Thank you! I don’t think I could fake a weird trying to please version of myself for very long anyway lol. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. morethanmyshare · 29 Days Ago

    I’m finding it hard to make friends too. it used to be easy, “let’s go for a drink!” now i don’t know what to do. everything sounds like i’m hitting on the person. it’s all awkward and uncomfortable. but i’m sure the right person or people will come along.

    Liked by 4 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · 27 Days Ago

      Now that summer is here you should try the “hey let’s go for icecream!” (that’s a great way to weed out the ones who don’t want to go and have NA fun, if they say no (without coming up with a fun alternative in case they’re lactose intolerant of course lol)) πŸ˜‰
      Thanks for dropping in πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hurrahforcoffee · 29 Days Ago

    Well done on your day count. It’s so nice to make sober friends. Don’t overthink it, you are lovely. Just relax and let it happen:) xxx

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Mark David Goodson · 29 Days Ago

    Way to go!

    Nothing boring about this way of life, I agree. Remember how similar everyday was when we were drinking. Now THAT got old.

    Liked by 3 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · 27 Days Ago

      Thank you Mark! Yes, you sure are right – every day the same old thing when I was drinking. Same routine. Life is definitely not boring now, but I sure have had to face some fears head on.
      Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  7. Untipsyteacher · 29 Days Ago

    You are doing so well!
    And having just come back from a great vacation, life really is not boring!
    You are perfect, just the way you are. Don’t worry if you can help it, and you will be surprised who you will attract!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 2 people

  8. mikeykjr · 28 Days Ago

    Life can be boring at times, thus we need to change it every once and a while (i.e. vacations). Unfortunately, we live in a society which structure is hard wired into our brains since the day of our birth. But it doesn’t have to be always. Change things up and have fun. When those friends come, enjoying you for who you are, I like to thank them on occasion. My nature is to hold on tight and not let go but I’ve realized people are put in our paths for a reason. Sobriety can be a struggle at times. We all go through them whether we acknowledge it or not. But it’s nice to have someone with you who understands what you’re going through, to share your experiences. Those experiences are precious to me now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · 27 Days Ago

      Thank you Mikey, The structure thing really is hard wired into our brains, isn’t it? It is a lot of fun to change things up! Thanks for dropping by! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. postcardsfromrecovery · 27 Days Ago

    Cograts on the 241 days! FAAAAABULOUS!

    You get to find out who you are with a new friend…that’s like Christmas every day. πŸ™‚

    I really enjoy your writing.

    xo
    P

    Liked by 1 person

  10. soberinvegas · 24 Days Ago

    i am so excited for you! new friends are so important on the journey…and something tells me you won’t scare them away πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s