Bed it is then

I am at 199 days sober and cigarette free today. I’m also curled up in bed feeling sorry for myself or something. My mood swings this week have been crazy and I am emotionally drained. I think it’s from Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, my emotional turmoil with my own mother and the insane deep seated fear I have of being like her. I have told myself over and over this week that I’m NOT like her. The house is an absolute disaster from doing some minor renos and I should be cleaning or painting or at least making the house somewhat presentable for when the kids come over tomorrow for Mother’s Day brunch. 

Happy Friday? 

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21 comments

  1. Wow! Almost 200, that’s huge. Try not to worry about the house, it’s great that you got the renovation stuff happening, sod the clearing up there’s only so much we can do in a day. Tomorrow is all about the people coming together to share food and time together and everything else can fade into the background. Sleep well and have a lovely day tomorrow 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  2. NoWineImFine · May 12

    ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Joss · May 13

    ahhhh! 199 days! that’s fantastic!
    I hope you feel better soon, Mother’s Day is a bummer for me, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dewy · May 13

    Take it easy . You can always round them up to help out? It’s Mother’s Day after all?
    My youngest is baking me banana bread here is hoping I don’t have to clean up😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love banana bread, I should totally make some this weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dewy · May 17

        You should we’ve finished ours days ago. I pop our browned bananas in the freezer so once in awhile the girls baked so I’ve got room .

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hurrahforcoffee · May 13

    These fears are bound to come up, just know that this is where the true healing takes place and you will be ok. You are amazing. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. saoirsek · May 13

    Hey, hope today is a lot easier. You have good awareness around what’s going on, that’s a great start. S x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Elizabeth · May 13

    It always bothers me when I notice in myself the (perceived) negative traits that have been passed on to me by both my mom and dad- they number quite a few, believe me. But I also try to remember (and name) the positives they handed out – and so I’m just a mishmash of the good and not so good… just like everyone else. For me it’s a see saw of going between acceptance and forgiveness and pissed off shame, depending on what’s happening in my life. I hope you had a fabulous mother’s day- you’re an incredible inspiration to me. Big bear hug to you my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Elizabeth. I do try to do that too, it is a good way to look at it. Thanks for the bear hugs -right back at you! 💓

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Untipsyteacher · May 14

    I hope the day went well for you.
    Now, you are 201 Days!!
    I am sorry your moods are up and down.
    I hope today brought you some peace.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  9. talesfrommyliver · May 15

    You have hit the 200 mark by now and HOLY SHIT THAT’S AN AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT! Congratulations!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. soberinvegas · May 16

    so sorry to hear you have been feeling so much 😦 hope you got a chance to rest and recoup…tasks can wait, sometimes we just need to take care of ourselves! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am pretty good at making tasks wait lol. Thank you, I have been trying hard to make taking care of myself a priority lately ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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