It goes on

Checking in at 150 days. Having a hard time the last few weeks, feeling sullen and angry.  Mostly angry at the boyfriend as his drinking has ramped up lately (or so it feels like) and other friends who seem to have the “oh really? You’re still not drinking?” Attitude. Honestly I don’t know why it bothers me. I think it’s because I just want to go and do different things and have fun and the boyfriend can’t seem to even comprehend a simple vacation unless it includes a group of his drinking buddies. He cancelled our planned trip to vegas with some bullshit excuse. 

So I have been spending time by myself and meeting up with my kids as often as I can. I’m pampering myself and giving myself lots of self love. I’m renting chick flicks and watching them by myself. I can’t wait for the weather to improve here so I can get out more. It’s starting to feel like spring sort of. I’m going to try to go on some weekend road trips and I have a trip up north coming up in 2 months.

Still sober and for that I’m grateful.

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36 comments

  1. Dewy · March 24

    Sorry you’re feeling down. I’m a bit flat myself . It’s no fun when the other person is not on the same wavelength . May be just book a trip somewhere and just go by yourself . I don’t mind skipping interstate for a weekend here and there . It’s nice to just go exploring without having to hurry along as your traveling partner wants to be elsewhere .

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · March 24

      Dewy, I’m probably going to do just that, it would just be nice to have a traveling partner.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dewy · March 24

        Yes it would be nice. What about your girl friends ? Any that would go with you ? Hubby is a homebody. I tend to just leave him at home and go by myself.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I Quit Wineing · March 24

    It is hard being with someone who still drinks. My husband seems to be drinking more than ever since I quit. But I no longer feel tempted by the booze, I am happy.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. asobermiracle · March 24

    Amazing how well you are hanging in there! Despite a party of discouraging onlookers. I have been there.
    Also, being around drinkers when you are not is like having someone drop off a few toddlers for you to look after. Amusing at first, but really trying as the day wears on. At least you can start leaving the house soon. Thank God! I have a terrible case of spring fever. ; )

    Liked by 3 people

    • Elizabeth · March 24

      Having never had children myself- great analogy Shawna! โค

      Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · March 24

      I’m super fidgety! I want to get out and I am tired of the same old routine. Yes you’re so right, it is like looking after toddlers lol.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hurrahforcoffee · March 25

      Oh my Shawna I just spat out my coffee from laughing at that. It’s so true looking after a bunch of drinkers is like looking after toddlers. They don’t follow instructions, they can’t keep their clothes on and they walk into things all the time. I needed that laugh thanks! xxx

      Liked by 4 people

      • asobermiracle · March 26

        I love it! You’re right … they won’t keep their clothes on. They pee in the bushes. They get really loud when they don’t get what they want. Hee hee! I am laughing myself now.

        Liked by 2 people

      • shehidbehindtheglass · March 26

        Hey that sounds like me on a normal day

        Like

      • Hurrahforcoffee · March 27

        pee in the bushes or can’t find the toilet, lol xxxx

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Elizabeth · March 24

    Congrats to you on 150! You are amazing to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ainsobriety · March 24

    150 is awesome!
    Pick somewhere and go on your own.
    You might be shocked at how much you like your own company.

    Have you ever looked at She Recovers retreats? They are lovely.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hurrahforcoffee · March 25

      I’ve seen those advertised they look amazing. We should all go! – one day when I win the lottery I’ll buy us all tickets:)

      Liked by 3 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · March 25

      Thank you Anne. I’ve done a lot of traveling by myself and have a (tentative) trip coming up in a few months up to the Yukon. I actually have a lot of fun by myself and have met some really interesting people and had some really great conversations. I don’t have the “stranger danger” filter so hopefully I don’t get myself into trouble one of these trips by striking up a conversation with a serial killer lol.
      I looked into one of the she recovers retreats a few months ago but they were a little out of my price range. They look wonderful though!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. saoirsek · March 25

    Well done , you’re doing really well๐Ÿ™‚Not sure if you go to Aa but it can be really useful to be around people who are going through the exact same thing. You can even get online meetings?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Hurrahforcoffee · March 25

    Hey lady, You are doing amazingly well, congrats on 150 days. Their attitude bothers you because they aren’t taking you seriously. I say this because my old drinking friends have the same attitude with me. My one friend asked me the other day if I am ‘over’ my ‘little drinking hiatus’ These comments and attitudes minimises your experience and isn’t very respectful at all.

    You are so strong, you need to sit the man down and talk to him, do you think that might help? A trip on your own sounds good and I am sure you will have fun. Thinking of you, this must be hard.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · March 25

      Thank you hurrah. I have tried talking to him, but he just gets stubborn and defensive. As hard as I am guarding my sobriety, he is guarding his drinking. It’s amazing actually how defensive people get about their drinking. I think that’s part of what’s bothering me too – our group of friends act like I’m some sort of abnormality and are always making weird comments or making a big deal out of it while I’m sitting there like “hey! It’s still me! I’m not a different person? I still like to laugh and joke around and tell dumb jokes and forget punchlines and walk into stuff because apparently I’m just as clumsy sober as I was when I was drunk!”
      I don’t feel strong, I feel like I am putting every ounce of strongness in my body into staying sober. โค
      Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Hurrahforcoffee · March 26

        Its really hard when the people you hang out with don’t get it or minimise it. My old mates have a standing joke about how often I’ve stopped and started. They’ll ask things like – ‘hey are you still rehabbing or are we going to party? ‘ I’m distancing myself this time till I feel stronger. xxx

        Liked by 1 person

      • shehidbehindtheglass · March 26

        Oh that’s nice. I’m glad you’re distancing yourself. It’s hard, and the funny part is that a lot of them would get defensive or upset if we said things like “oh! Are you STILL drinking or can we go and have a nice fun evening out?” Lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hurrahforcoffee · March 26

        I should say that but I never think of these comebacks in time. Saving that one for just the right occasion. xxx

        Liked by 1 person

      • shehidbehindtheglass · March 26

        Lol I always think of them but never say them. My tongue bleeds from biting it so often ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hurrahforcoffee · March 26

        me too:)

        Like

  8. Dewy · March 25

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mark David Goodson · March 25

    So many things to be grateful for. Even when you’re not feeling it. Thanks for your honesty.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Untipsyteacher · March 25

    Happy 150 Days!!
    You have worked hard, and it’s not easy!
    It’s extra hard for you because you are around a lot of drinkers.
    I am really glad you are taking care of yourself.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

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