I’ll just put it back

I had a funny little drinking dream, well, NON-drinking dream last night. 

I was out hiking and exploring an amazing area, staying at this fun little inn or b&b with friends and just having a great weekend all around. I decided to let myself have ONE night to drink. Just one. We were all celebrating, and it was definitely a night that I would have felt that “I’m missing out” or whatever pang if I stayed sober.

In my dream I was excited about going to the store and choosing what I was going to drink, and I loaded ( yes, loaded) up my basket with all of my old favourites. I headed towards the til and stopped dead in my tracks. I thought “I’m at 119 days today. If I drink I won’t get to 120 tomorrow”. (I’m only at 113 today) And I was sad, super sad actually haha, and I slowly went and slowly achingly put everything back one by one. Everyone was staring at me and I was just sadly putting things back on shelves where they belonged. 

These past few days at the conference have been pretty… interesting. Lots of pangs. Last day today, so before I’m late as usual… happy hump day everyone!