Lately I have really been struggling with my emotions. This weekend so far has been a “why am I even doing this? Why am I having such a hard time with this? Why is my mind AND my body fighting me every step of the way?”
My ex sister in law posted on Facebook “between dry February and exercising the past few weeks I’ve lost a lot of weight!” Really? In 2 weeks? Lucky duck. I weighed myself and I’m up another pound. 110 days sober, active as f&ck, eating healthier, drinking lots of water…. maybe it’s my age. Apparently it’s super hard to lose weight in your 40’s 😉
An old friend came out for a visit from another province and we went for lunch. I texted him yesterday to say that I hoped he was having a great visit and he replied that he was, except that everyone out here looked fat and old. How nice. In my mind of course he was talking about me because that’s how I feel about myself lately, right? I grabbed my snowshoes and went out for an hour hike after that. Then when I got back in I watched the comedy channel and there was a super funny comedian on. Timing.
Anyway, signed in here quickly this morning before heading out for some fresh air and came across this post from soberish. Timing. 💗
“There comes a point in sobriety where you have to force yourself to confront difficult emotions without any crutches. These are not easy moments, nor are they completely unfamiliar to you. In fact, these are the same thoughts and memories that would, in another life, drive you to open the bottle and get blasted. But now that you’re sober, there’s a new, naked vulnerability invading your inner world and it’s going to get harder before it gets easier.”
Wrestling With Demons