I had a great weekend, and yet I am in a down mood. Why does that happen? Maybe it’s just because it’s a Monday, and it’s winter, and my brain is working at a snails’ pace lately. I have a meeting in 1/2 hr that will keep me at work quite late, and I’m in no way, shape or form prepared for it. I can’t get my butt in gear lately at all, it’s frustrating. I have all of these deadlines looming up and I just want to go home and crawl under the covers and sleep. I stare at my computer screen and sit in my office feeling like a blobby zombie. A zombified blob. (I’m not talking about the scary zombies that have tons of energy and chase after people, I’m talking about a zombie that would act like a body with no brain) Every once in a while a little spark will go off in my head “ohh… I really should do….” and then it fizzes out like a lighter that can’t ignite. Good god, if I lose my job now 3 months + into sobriety when I managed to keep it for years while drunk I will lose my shit.
On the weekend I had so many laughs. Saturday I phoned my mom (yes, sober, I don’t have to get drunk to talk to her these days, yah!), and then I called my baby sister and we laughed and laughed about everything. My youngest son and I then went out for an afternoon date of shopping and went for a sushi dinner. We had lots of laughs, so many funny things happened while we were out and about! I bought the movie “Room” and we watched it Sat night. Sunday I called my other sister and we had such a great conversation and lots of laughs too. I hate living so far away from my sisters. Then I rented the movie “The Girl on the Train”. I had read the book when I first quit drinking and it really resonated with me – the whole blacking out and how scary it can be to have no or broken memories. It’s actually one of the reasons that I decided NO GOING BACK TO THAT. Watching the movie reinforced that. I made my son watch it with me and I rented a movie for him to watch afterwards by himself while I sort of watched the Superbowl, made pizza from scratch and cleaned up. I was in bed by 10:30, exhausted. I ate a lot of junk food this weekend and didn’t exercise AT ALL, and woke up feeling like I had the flu this morning. Achey, tired… bleh. My pizza though, was amazing. haha.
3 months, 1 week, 5 days = 104 days.