100

100 days today. This seems & feels sooo huge and I want to tell everyone I know that “I MADE IT 100 DAYS!!” Woot woot! I told my boyfriend last night that I was at 99 days yesterday and excited about my 100 today, kind of secretly hoping that he would at least congratulate me this morning but he didn’t. Eh, I try not to let his lack of support through this bother me. If the tables were turned and it was him who was making all these big changes and trying to improve himself, I can imagine that I would be confused about it all as well. And big changes have I ever made! Wow, talk about ripple effect! I told you all that I would be more positive today and I’m going to celebrate my 100 days of sobriety by celebrating all the GOOD that has happened these past few months!

Hair – I know that I said that my hair is pretty thin and unhealthy, but honestly it has improved so much since I quit drinking & smoking. It SHINES! There is lots of new growth too, poking out. Hopefully this means that it will start getting thicker.

Energy – this one is kind of back and forth as it seems to come in waves, but I feel like I have a lot more energy than I did before. Maybe it’s because I’m not fighting hangovers in the morning, and lazing around drinking in the evening. I’m finding things to do, and keeping busy and feeling a lot more energetic!

Healthy focus / healthier choices – I used to eat so much crap when I was drinking. 10pm nacchhoooooos! Yum! Hungover and hungry, too tired to make myself a breakfast or lunch and always buying something. I have been pre-making my lunches, and since I’m up early to go for a run, I’m hungry in the morning so I eat breakfast too before I leave for work! I’ve been trying to add a lot more fruits and veggies to my diet too, and trying to really be conscious about what I’m eating.

Makeup/skin care routine – This one I’ve never been great with, but when you go to bed sober, you have a higher chance of putting the moisturizing cream on, and wiping off most of your makeup, and brushing your teeth. When you’re waking up feeling great and not hungover, you’re more likely to make sure you look presentable before heading to work… just sayin’

Body & face – I haven’t lost ANY weight according to the scale, but my clothes are fitting differently and I can really notice a difference in my face. I actually had someone drop by my office today and do a double take and say “Wow! Have you lost a lot of weight? I haven’t seen you in ages and you look GREAT!”. Now if you saw what I’m wearing today you’d laugh because it’s freezing outside so I’m wearing a big shawl like top and mukluks. She was saying that from looking at my face. Not losing weight has been really frustrating for me as I honestly thought that would come off noticeably and quickly. My boyfriend is a huge part of me feeling down about this as he’s quite judgemental and “holier than thou”. Before I quit drinking he used to make comments about “well, you’d lose weight if you quit drinking!”. He sits on the couch upstairs with his big beer belly hanging out, snacking on chips and drinking beer or rum and cokes while I go down to the basement to exercise night after night with my bottle of water and proclaims that he’ll lose weight if he starts eating more veggies or cuts back on his drinking. He cut back on his drinking a bit (only 4 days last week!), and goes and walks on the treadmill twice in 3 days for about 15 minutes and smugly tells me that he lost weight. Urrghhh!! I just keep telling myself that my body is in shock and trying to figure out what’s going on and I will get there. I also tell myself that I am doing this for ME, not for his stupid approval, and I am doing great. This isn’t about losing weight, it’s about staying sober and being healthier. ❀

Water intake – I AM SO THIRSTY! haha, seriously I can’t drink enough water. I don’t like drinking water so I add lemon juice or make fruit infused water. The other day I bought some sparkling water that was on sale and omg I love it! I’m also drinking lots of decaf tea.

Not so shaky – My hands don’t tremble! I’m not as shaky, and that is so nice.

Sweet tooth – thankfully my sugar cravings have calmed the heck down a bit from that first month. I still get them a lot though, and pretty strong. I’m including this in the list of positives because it has forced me to try to satisfy them a bit with more healthier choices – fresh fruit salads, medjool dates (I use these to make a fake caramel dip for apples that is SO good!) Larabar bites, cherry tomatoes, etc. I still eat chocolate but I’m not insanely gobbling down cookies, cakes, fudge and 5 chocolate bars a day like I was in the beginning.

Finances – well I have to laugh at this one a bit because I’m actually in worse financial shape than I was before. I’ve been spending a lot of money on the fun but expensive N/A drinks (san pellegrino limonatas, specialty root beers, etc), food, and also splurging on treating myself to things like going to a really great salon for a hair colour and cut, and buying myself special treats. Plus I went a little overboard at Christmas buying presents haha. I also bought new flooring for the kitchen in my house. There’s lot of things that I have spent money on that I wouldn’t have been able to do before, or couldn’t do before because I just never had any extra money. I look at my NOMO app on my phone and it tells me that I have saved $1,565.83 on drinking andΒ  $668.17 on smoking since I quit both just over 3 months ago and I just think “HOW?! How the heck did I find the money for those?! No wonder I could never afford anything and was going deeper and deeper in debt each month and year”. It’s insane.

Introspection – this one has been HUGE, HUGE HUGE for me. I have done so much soul-searching and self-examination these past few months. It has been really an eye opener and I have had many discussions with myself. I always seem to be talking to myself these days haha. I have always been super sensitive to other peoples emotions and energies, and drinking for me, was a way to dull that (or enhance it if it was good energy). For example, I can’t go to funerals. I get so completely overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness surrounding me that I just can’t handle it, I don’t know what to do or how to function. If I’m in a small area where emotions are running high and people are upset or angry I have to get out ASAP. When I’ve been in situations like that I usually head straight for the booze. Lounges or pubs where people are having a great time and socializing have always been a draw for me because they’re usually happy; it’s a good atmosphere. Drinking just went hand in hand with that as it normally does in a drinking establishment. My own emotions are usually bottled up and my walls are high, which is not a good thing.Β  These past few months I have had to learn how to try to deal with all of this without being able to dull it or run away from it. I’ve had a lot of conversations with myself trying to figure out why I’m feeling certain ways and what has been setting off my moods and what I can do to calm myself down or work through it. I’m finding though, that it’s getting easier and I’m not blowing things way out of proportion or stewing on them like I was when I was drinking. Life seems simpler, and overall I feel a lot calmer and more centered.

Next goal is 150 πŸ™‚

 

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48 comments

  1. tiredoftreadingwater · February 2

    Wow! A lot can happen in 100 days. Huge congratulations πŸ™‚ x

    Liked by 3 people

  2. bad301 · February 2

    YES! YES! YES! Take time to celebrate (a day or two) then reach for that 150! You can do it!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. ainsobriety · February 2

    Congratulations.
    All those things are awesome results!
    So much better than booze!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Newchapter · February 2

    Amazing. Huge congratulations πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mark David Goodson · February 2

    Congrats on the 100! I’m such a freak over my water intake now too. We have a double-filtration system at home. A filter for the tap and another filter in the fridge. I swear the only water that beats it is Fiji!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. janebare · February 2

    Congratulations!! This is a huge accomplishment.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Elizabeth · February 2

    Yeah!! Congratulations!! Awesome and wonderful post. So inspiring to read. Big hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. janebare · February 2

    I have similar feelings about other peoples emotions – as I’m a highly sensitive person. I have learned a lot in my sobriety about what I can handle, and what I cannot. Where I used to turn to booze to dull this, It often would exacerbate it and I would simply re-direct my uncomfortable feelings – turning it into anger and lashing out at people closest to me.

    Now that I must sit back and process my emotions normally, I find I’m better at coping with them. If I’m really uncomfortable, I leave.
    It’s been eye-opening and really helpful.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 2

      Jane, that’s what I’m finding too – I always have an escape route if I’m out somewhere so that I can leave. It really has been eye opening for me, and a lot of work but well worth it. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. SWMum · February 2

    Whoop whoop de whoop!! I am doing a little happy dance round my kitchen for you!! This is the beginning of something awesome and you have every right to celebrate. I’m sorry your boyfriend doesn’t see it yet but I reckon over time the positives will just grow and grow till it’s impossible for him to ignore. xxx

    Liked by 3 people

  10. dewyplace · February 2

    Biggest congrats to you . Now you make me feel guilty about eating that pizza I bought two days ago . Though I did split it into 3 meals πŸ˜‚ your weight might not have dropped but all that running and exercising might have turned your fat into muscles. And muscles tend to be heavy 😊 now all you need is a new wardrobe to show off your toned body 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 2

      Dewy, I read once somewhere that it takes 3 months of exercising and proper diet. After the first month, you notice a difference, after the second month people close to you notice a difference, and after 3 months then other people notice. I’ll wait until about 2 1/2 months then buy some awesome show-it-off clothes πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • dewyplace · February 2

        Yes I’ve lost 2.5kg but I think I’m close to putting it back on . Relatives have noticed I’ve gone lighter but I don’t think I have.
        Next bit is exercising which I’m bad at 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I Quit Wineing · February 2

    That is brilliant! I am nine days behind you and looking forward to 100 days very much. It is hard when people in real life don’t share your joy but at least you have a huge online crowd cheering you on. The positives are all fabulous. I really struggle with the weight thing. How on earth can we NOT lose weight when we quit drinking. But I am the same. A couple of kilos down perhaps, that is all. At least you are getting lovely compliments from people so obviously there is something different!

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 2

      Way to go on your 91 days!! Wow!
      I am so thankful for this online crowd, so incredibly thankful.
      I really don’t understand why we can’t lose weight when we quit drinking. It boggles my mind haha.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Hurrahforcoffee · February 2

    Happy happy 100 days ya awesome lady!!! Well done. xxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Merry B. Sober · February 2

    Happy Happy Happy Anniversary!!!! 100 times over!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. onebottleoneglass · February 2

    Happy Hundred!!! Triple digits now, baby!! Congrats and great work πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. audreycandoit · February 3

    CONGRATULATIONS on 100 days!! You are AMAZING!! And how you handle your SO without the support is something I can relate to….but always remember you are doing it for you, not him. You got this! So, so proud of you hon. Big hugs xxx oooo

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 3

      Thank you thank you thank you Audrey! It makes me sad that I don’t get the support from him. It’s something that I really just don’t understand, but I have to keep telling myself that it’s a reflection of who HE is, not me. And bottom line is that we have to do this for ourselves. You’ve got this too, and I am so proud of you too!! Big hugs right back at ya chickie! ❀

      Like

  16. MrsMac · February 3

    100 days fantastic!! I didnt lose weight straight away. Probably due to the amount of chocolate I was allowing myself. (better than alcohol, right) but that doesn’t matter, what matters is that mentally and physically I feel 100% better than I did when drinking. Heres to 150!

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 3

      Thanks MrsMac! Well, chocolate + wine was my favourite evening indulgence, and then I even found some chocolate flavoured wines so I was in heaven there! Now I have to eat double the chocolate πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Untipsyteacher · February 3

    YAY!!
    Doing a super dance, sending you a GIANT HUG!!!
    I LOVE that you are looking forward to the next 50 days!!
    I am a very sensitive, emotional person, too.
    It’s hard sometimes, and I agree having an escape plan is helpful.
    I often have to leave situations early, if I feel overwhelmed.
    Being sober allows us the opportunity for such growth in all areas of our lives!
    You are doing the actions, not just the words!
    Carry on, my dear Canadian Friend!!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 3

      Thank you so much Wendy!! ❀
      I'm looking forward to a lot longer than 50 days, but I am setting short term goals right now since I am really loving this whole celebrating things while sober! πŸ˜‰
      I see you guys aren't back in a deep freeze like we are here above you! BRRRR! minus 20 and I don't want to go outside haha.
      Have a wonderful weekend sweet lady. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  18. TheWinoThatIKnow · February 3

    Congratulations, this is really something you should be proud of!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Paul S · February 4

    Congrats on 100 days! Amazing how things change in that time. The best part for me has been the ability to be introspective and understanding why I do the things I do and how that led me to my drinking. As far as the emotions things goes…totally get it. I still have problems being around drama, and that’s fine with me. I created enough of it while I was drinking, so a drama-free existence is fine with me. And don’t worry about your boyfriend not acknowledging – you’re doing this for you, and that’s the most important thing!

    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Erin · February 25

    Congrats! I’ve been so excited for you reading this. I think the reason we don’t lose weight right away is that our bodies go into shock a little bit with the drastic reduction in calories, and it goes into a sort of survival mode. Plus all the extra calories we take in from the sugary treats! πŸ™‚

    Just out of curiosity, does your boyfriend know you have this blog? And if so, does he read it? It breaks my heart to read the things he says to you and I’m afraid if anything were to make you relapse it will be him. You said you are sensitive to other’s moods and he seems pretty toxic to me. You deserve better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · February 25

      Thank you Erin, and thank you for dropping by. πŸ™‚ My boyfriend knows that I have a blog, but I haven’t told him the name of it and I don’t think he’s really interested enough to look for it. I have really struggled over the past few months with whether or not to write about issues with him, but decided to as there may be others with the same struggle. I told myself at the beginning (of my sobriety) that I would give it one year with him as maybe things would turn around completely and it would turn out to be an amazing, beautiful relationship. It has definitely not been easy.

      Like

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