Stop the rollercoaster, I want to get off

I’m at 84 days today and I don’t know if it’s that dreaded 3 month thing that some people talk about – where your brain tries one more crazy effort to try to get you to drink before it re-wires itself, or if it’s a serious case of the winter blues, but man my mood swings are like they’re on a roller coaster this past week.

I am running a lot more and with more intensity as I have found in the past that really improves my mood so hopefully that will help this time too. My poor boyfriend, of course, is the one bearing the brunt of my anger and honestly I don’t even know what I’m angry about most of the time because I am all over the place with my thoughts. I’m sure that this will pass and honestly the good days far outweigh the bad days, and the bad days are a lot better than some of those bad days I had when I was drinking!

On a different note – I went grocery shopping on the weekend and went to the health food aisle to pick up more of that “real draft” root beer and found some interesting drinks that I haven’t seen before! They’re from Fentimans (British I think) and come in 4 packs. I bought the Rose Lemonade and the Curiosity Cola to try. I was going to post them for a Sober Drinks Sunday post, but then I noticed the “botanically brewed” on the label so I wanted to check out their website first. On their website they say that their soft drinks are ZERO alcohol and good for dry January. They also have a couple of mocktail recipes too.

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16 comments

  1. Untipsyteacher · January 17

    Yummy!
    I found some chocolate tea that I love!
    Happy Day 84!
    I know the roller coaster thing…the little liar voice telling me to drink, and moods up and down.
    This will pass.
    xo
    Wendy
    I want to live in a place that has 1 month of winter.
    I’d be fine with that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 17

      1 month of winter, can you imagine? *swoons with happiness at the thought of it* We’re getting a break here from the -40’s thank goodness, but it’s around zero this week which is insane for us in January! (not complaining, not complaining, haha)
      Thanks Wendy, “this too shall pass” seems to be my mantra lately. It helps so much hearing that others experience this as well. I was going to go back and re-read Belle’s original email – I think she had something like this happen around 90 days too.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I Quit Wineing · January 17

    Yes, I remember those awful mood swings from my last attempt. I just keep working at my meditation, hoping it will help me ride the waves. Those drinks look amazing 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  3. beththesobergirl · January 17

    Looks delicious and like it won’t give you a hangover. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  4. asobermiracle · January 17

    That’s funny you mentioned the 90 day “curse” because I have quite a few 90 day runs where I caved at just before or after 90 days. I even celebrated the 90 day mark by drinking. Had I known that my brain was resisting the rewiring process, maybe I could have stuck it out.

    Yay, brain!

    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mary · January 17

    Please tell me about this 3 mo rewiring.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 17

      Mary, I will see if I can find the info for you rather than try to recite from memory! It was really interesting and also explains why it gets easier around the 100 day mark!

      Like

  6. Mary · January 18

    Oh good!! I am so eager to read about it!! And congratulations on your 84 days!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 18

      Thank you Mary. I may not get a chance to look until tomorrow when I’m back in my office with a laptop and decent internet 😊 (so don’t think I’ve forgotten about you please)

      Like

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 19

      Hi Mary, so I have done as much searching as I could during my lunch break today and I can’t find the blog post where someone wrote out it! It was back in the fall and it stuck in my mind as something to remember when I got to around 90 days. I should have bookmarked it! She said that due to your body “rewiring” or rebuilding itself and the brain, that around 90 days you get this really strong urge to drink – kind of like a “are you sure you want to continue with sobriety before I (the body and brain) go to all of this hard work rewiring and retraining everything?”
      There is also quite a bit out there about Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome and P.A.W.S that help explain why we experience urges or withdrawal symptoms long after we quit.
      If you’re quitting or have been sober for a while, good luck on your journey! Your comment/username doesn’t link to a blog, so if you do have a blog please let me know as I’d be happy to follow you πŸ™‚ Hope you have a great rest of the week and weekend!
      Donna

      Like

  7. Paul S · January 18

    Amazing how our minds and bodies change when we get into recovery. I just finished reading a blog where someone mentioned their body being weary, and now here you mention how emotions get the best of you at times. And that is totally normal in very early recovery! It’s an emotional rollercoaster for a while – just have to hang on and wait for the brain to resettle and reset and things do get back to more even keel. Most folks I know have gone through this – one minute wanting to hug everyone on the street, next minute wanting to run them over with a bus. I found that things like journaling (I did a LOT of that in the first year) and meditating, and sharing with others in recovery helped me. Sometimes it was all about just shutting my mouth and letting the tide pass over me!

    Congrats on your sober time! Looking forward to reading more!

    Paul

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 18

      Thank you so much Paul! It really is amazing how our bodies and minds change in recovery. I think I have to learn to shut my mouth and let the tide pass over – although maybe I’m half way there by just muttering under my breath most of the time πŸ˜‰
      Thanks for stopping by! Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. justsober · January 18

    You got this! I’ve tried the Rose lemonade it’s very good but I prefer Belvoir Rose & elderflower lemonade. They have others too. Ginger something or other😊

    Liked by 1 person

  9. moderndaygirlsober · January 19

    I know what you mean about your thoughts being all over the place and your bf getting the brunt of your anger – same for me!! Thank god for them, they love us anyways.

    84 days, πŸ‘πŸΌ to you πŸ’—

    Liked by 1 person

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