WOTY

WOTY-word of the year

Over the past few weeks I have seen a lot of bloggers posting about their 2017 “word of the year” – a meaningful word that will be their focus for the year ahead. Hopefully someone will be kind enough to post a link in the comments section to a blog that explains it in more detail. Unfortunately my laptop is out of commission and and navigating around WordPress on my phone and then trying to figure out how to copy, paste, link etc is a little frustrating for this clumsy fingered girl lol.

As soon as I started reading about WOTY, I knew what I wanted mine to be, although I did waver a bit back and forth between it and Serendipity. 

My 2017 Word of the Year will be family.

Over the past few years, when my drinking got really bad, I hid behind the glass when it came to a lot of things family related. My dad passed away unexpectedly 2 years ago and I was NOT there for my sisters. I blamed it on how far away I live, but that was a lie. I was hiding in a sad drunken haze. I was also FURIOUS with my mother for over a year (related to the death of my dad), and several months after losing my dad I lost an uncle and my two remaining grandparents. Again I hid. I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t fly out for funerals. A few months after that my neice was diagnosed with leukaemia and again… not there for my sisters. The guilt I feel over all of this combined has been tremendous since I quit drinking. I felt guilty before, and struggled with a whole myriad of feelings that I drank to hide from. Being so far away from family made it easy to hide away and completely scam out on being there for the people who needed me. Now let’s add to that the fact that I was also a single mom with two kids still at home, and no financial support from my ex husband which meant me also working 2 full time jobs. (In addition to quitting smoking and drinking I’ve also quit the 2nd job in order to spend time with the youngest one who is still living at home but is already almost 18). I’m not sure what the year ahead will hold as I navigate this new territory and try to repair and strengthen all of these relationships but I do know that family means a lot to me and I am so, so, SO thankful for the family that I have. My hope is that they will also be thankful for me and that the year ahead will hold some fun adventures and memories with them all (and the new little one on the way!)

Advertisements

18 comments

  1. Hurrahforcoffee · December 29

    Lovely post. Family is really important and a brilliant word for your year ahead. Just remember that you did you best you could. Be gentle with yourself. Remember that quote from Maya Angelou “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” That helps shift the guilt into something positive. xxx

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Rob · December 29

    A great theme for the coming year for you. Mine is independence, from all this treatment crap, legal crap, etc

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I Quit Wineing · December 29

    That is the perfect word. Well done on facing up to your limitations and working harder to overcome.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Elizabeth · December 29

    Regrets and a willingness to change signal beautiful growth. I also lived far from my family for many years and failed to be there in times of dire need. This is a beautiful post…but remember; it’s all about the times ahead. We are forgiven. The hardest is forgiving ourselves. I am a devoted Catholic-not to the religion-but to the Lord and I use the Pope’s words of the year… last year was the year of Mercy and this year is the year of Grace. I think your family has always and still is thankful for you, SHBG. I know I am. Happy, Blessed and Peace-filled New Year to you. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · December 30

      Elizabeth, thank you so much for your beautiful comment. I got a lump in my throat reading it. Happy, Blessed and Peace-filled New Year to you too 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ainsobriety · December 29

    As I gained more sober time, and started to trust myself again, I realized I also had to forgive myself and make some amends.
    People who love us truly understand if we are honest about our struggles.
    Hug.
    Family is a lovely choice.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. audreycandoit · December 30

    Family is an awesome word for the year. I too struggle with regrets, but I am learning to let them go. I can’t unchang the past but I can change the future. I think we also tend to beat ourselves up more than is necessary. What I mean is most people actually don’t even remember incidents that burn in our brains. When’s the baby due?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. green&sober · December 30

    I second Anne. People will forgive, mostly, if they understand what was going on for you. It’s important to let go of the guilt you carry around as well… hugs xx

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Mark David Goodson · January 1

    Wonderful thought at the Years close. It is all about family, I think. Unavoidable. True. Pretty good when you stop fighting it, I’ve found.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · January 1

      Thank you Mark. It really is something that we can fight, eh? I guess it’s “easy” to let friendships fade away or end abruptly, but you’re always tied to family no matter what happens. Happy New Year!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s