Another Thursday night alone last night while the boyfriend went to the bar and it was a tough one for me. It was really really hard and for the first time since starting this journey I experienced the “just have a drink, no one will know – there’s lots in the cupboard. Just one, maybe 2 at the most. You’ll feel better – won’t it feel good?” Whispers. I was already feeling sad and deflated – I had tried to have a conversation with him before he left, tried to explain what I was going through and how hard this battle is for me. His phone rang in the middle of the conversation and he answered it. When he told the person “oh no, not doing anything, just feeding the dogs” I knew that our conversation was on pause, so I went to lie down in the bedroom. 20 mins later I heard the sound being turned back up on the tv so I knew his phone conversation was over, and our conversation, apparently, was not important enough to continue. It’s a long weekend here this weekend and the weather is nice so I think I owe it to myself to get my butt out of the house and find something to do that will lift my spirits. I would love nothing more than having a supportive partner, but I guess that’s not in the cards for me at this time, and as much as I should feel excited and proud of myself for making it through another night (yes I did! Day 17 here folks!) I’m feeling pretty sad and lonely instead. I think that there’s just been too much turmoil and emotional overload lately.