17

Another Thursday night alone last night while the boyfriend went to the bar and it was a tough one for me. It was really really hard and for the first time since starting this journey I experienced the “just have a drink, no one will know – there’s lots in the cupboard. Just one, maybe 2 at the most. You’ll feel better – won’t it feel good?” Whispers. I was already feeling sad and deflated – I had tried to have a conversation with him before he left, tried to explain what I was going through and how hard this battle is for me. His phone rang in the middle of the conversation and he answered it. When he told the person “oh no, not doing anything, just feeding the dogs” I knew that our conversation was on pause, so I went to lie down in the bedroom. 20 mins later I heard the sound being turned back up on the tv so I knew his phone conversation was over, and our conversation, apparently, was not important enough to continue. It’s a long weekend here this weekend and the weather is nice so I think I owe it to myself to get my butt out of the house and find something to do that will lift my spirits. I would love nothing more than having a supportive partner, but I guess that’s not in the cards for me at this time, and as much as I should feel excited and proud of myself for making it through another night (yes I did! Day 17 here folks!) I’m feeling pretty sad and lonely instead. I think that there’s just been too much turmoil and emotional overload lately.

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14 comments

  1. audreycandoit · November 11

    Big hugs hon – I know the feeling when you have a partner who is unsupportive. Hang in there. And you are so fab for making 17 days. Congratulations….another big cyber hug. xxxooo Audrey

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hurrahforcoffee · November 11

    Does he want you to stop drinking or is he hoping its a phase and you’ll join him again?

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · November 11

      He wants me to be able to control my drinking and be able to limit myself to 1 or 2

      Like

      • quitwiningbaby · November 11

        Ha! Don’t we all? I’m sorry to hear he’s not being as supportive as you would like him to be. Hang in there! And woop woop 17 days!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • shehidbehindtheglass · November 11

        Yup, I’d love to but I can’t so here I am 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. M.E. · November 11

    I know where you’re coming from. My OH thought this ‘no wine’ phase was just a joke the first weekend and it wouldn’t last past Friday. It’s not that he was unsupportive but he had absolutely no idea of the battle that was being waged in my head on the Sat morning as I hit rock bottom lows.

    The second weekend I was about to knock over *my* (his) white wine that he kept putting in front of me at dinner (not on purpose, but not thinking) and then he offered a dessert wine as I don’t do sweets as afters. At which point I reminded him that I’m driving his sister home. No malice on his part, just being hospitable and not used to me not drinking.

    Weekend 3 he started to get the hang of the new regime. Weekend 4 we ran a 5k, something we have never done in 3+ years of dating.

    My point to you, having been in the same situation last month…change takes time, particularly in male minds. Also, it seemed to help in my case if there was a ‘new’ instead of just taking away. I went to the gym more, did new things instead of just depriving myself of wine and usual activities.

    As a sidenote, I purposely didn’t pick on my OH’s drinking patterns during this month (even though I think he drinks too much and his drinking pattern increased mine previously). While the first two weeks were particularly painful for me as he brought home wine as habit, by week 3 he got it that we were doing something new and sampled my delightful mocktails and managed to bring in ‘his’ drinks (red wine) instead of mine (white wine). He also lost 2 kilos during my non drinking month, lol.

    Stay strong. x

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · November 11

      That’s awesome! That’s great to hear. Any mocktail recipes you’d like to share? I have been drinking the Sanpellegrino Limonata’s but they’re so tart that 2 are my limit lol 🙂 Thanks for your words of encouragement!

      Like

  4. Hurrahforcoffee · November 12

    I know everyone has their own story. I’ll just briefly share my journey maybe it helps?

    I knew I had a drinking problem before I met my husband, I was 6 years sober when we got together. I told him I needed a sober partner. Slowly but surely he started introducing to topic of moderate drinking he convinced me my ‘problem’ was a teenage/student phase and now that we are adults it would be different.

    Fast-forward 13 years later, he has now finally realised that I am not able to moderate my intake and he can’t either! My biggest regret is all the time I wasted.

    Alcohol is an addictive substance. I can’t stress this enough. Everyone who drinks is playing with fire. Some people are sliding down that addictive scale slower that others this is true but it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s highly addictive and dangerous. We live in a society that is brainwashed to think that alcohol is necessary to live a normal life, this is a lie.

    It doesn’t sound to me like your boyfriend is keeping his consumption to one or two drinks either?

    Try to see through the veil, it will help you to stay strong for your own sanity.

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · November 12

      Thank you for sharing, and I completely agree that everyone who drinks is playing with fire. Up until about 9 years ago I barely drank at all. From comments that he’s made, I think that this is one of the reasons that my boyfriend has a hard time understanding why alcohol is a problem for me. I got married at a young age, had children right away and then spent 15 yrs fighting to survive in that marriage. I honestly think that if I had started drinking while in that marriage I never would have made it out alive. I do regret the time that I’ve wasted since then- but that’s also one of the reasons I’m set on winning this battle whether or not I have support from my boyfriend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ainsobriety · November 13

    I’m sorry you don’t have support.
    Buy you are putting your needs first and doing what is right for you.

    If someone told you they had a heroin problem we wouldn’t say, just have a bit…don’t over do it.

    But booze is the same thing. Sneaky, addictive, compulsive.

    Hug

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

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