Day 5 (bitchy mcbitchbitch face)

1 week ago today I bought my last bottle of wine. We had just gotten home from our trip to Texas, I was irritable and grumpy and made an excuse to drive to town by myself. I bought the bottle, hid it in my carry-on luggage that was still in my car and smuggled it into the house and into the bedroom. Told boyfriend I was tired and was going to lay in bed and read. He, of course, was busy watching tv and doesn’t pay attention to me at the best of times so just nodded his head. 3/4 of the way through the bottle I remember thinking to myself “seriously? What am I doing? This was supposed to end a month ago” I saved the remaining glass “in case I had a bad day the next week”, hidden away in my underwear drawer. Lol. Made it through Monday and thought about it all day Tuesday. Tuesday night the boyfriend had hockey so I poured myself that last glass and said goodbye. Wednesday I started searching online for blogs, stories, support groups, ANYTHING, and that’s how I ended up here 😊 I’m suuuuuperrrrr bitchy this weekend, spurred on mainly by the boyfriend being a complete and utter dick. Well, maybe there’s a little bit of pms contributing to the bitchyness too 😏. I’ll power through though, because I can’t wait to write “day 6!” Tomorrow and “one week!!” On Tuesday. Hope you’re all having a fantastic weekend!

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11 comments

  1. sobersuitsme · October 30, 2016

    good for you. Those first few days are really tough. They do get easier. One thing that I am doing is to listen to as many recovery or sober podcasts as I can. To hear others stories is so healing. Try listening to The Bubble Hour. Seriously. You will feel less alone. I am on my 4th, day 46. This is my last day 46.

    Liked by 2 people

    • shehidbehindtheglass · October 30, 2016

      Thank you for the suggestion! I will definitely look into that, everything helps right now, especially as all of my support is currently in cyberland.

      Like

  2. asobermiracle · October 31, 2016

    I am so glad my daughter didn’t know the phrase “bitchy mcbitchbitch face, because she would have called me that in her teens.
    I often drank to minimize my inner bitch, but overall, it just made her come out HUGE while drinking. All of the frustration and anger at the husband (my ex) would burst forth like a dam, and I would end up raging then crying. I stayed in that relationship a lot longer than I would have had I not been wearing beer goggles. The drinking sucks away your power. I’m so glad you are starting this journey so young! Hang in there!
    XX,
    Shawna

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · October 31, 2016

      Oh Shawna, I’m not that young lol, but thank you. Two of my kids are grown and out of the house, and the 3rd is almost finished high school. My kids like to tease me that I have a “resting bitch face”- hopefully that eases up a bit as I find more inner peace 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • asobermiracle · October 31, 2016

        Those kids must keep you young. You have the sense of humor of a young person, and that is definitely a compliment! (Or maybe I’m just getting a bit older.)

        Like

      • shehidbehindtheglass · October 31, 2016

        Someone told me long ago that you’re only as old as you act, so I take every opportunity possible to act as immature as possible 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • asobermiracle · November 1, 2016

        Me too. It keeps you young!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Anna · October 31, 2016

    We’re always here for ya! But I do agree with the first commenter about the podcast. I also listen to HOME podcast and knowing that other people have gone through the bitchyness, the mood swings, the extreme highs and lows, made it a BIT easier for me. Knowing that I’m not alone and NORMAL (well… sort of!). 😉 You’re almost to a week…yay!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hurrahforcoffee · November 1, 2016

    Best post title ever! Jokes aside just do what need to do to get through the first couple of weeks. I practically drowned myself in tubs of ice cream. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • shehidbehindtheglass · November 1, 2016

      I was thinking of changing my username to that, actually 😉 I’m allowing myself lots of sugary treats – I’d rather fill the sugar cravings with that than the alternative 🙂

      Like

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