5 weeks into the journey and 3 days sober. I am glad that I decided to quit smoking and drinking at the same time but my body is having a hard time adjusting. Why wouldn’t it after so many years of abuse? I cannot though, get over how badly I’m craving anything sugary or sweet. And also how exhausted I am. Shouldn’t I be bouncing off the walls with all that sugar in my system? 😉
Last night was a Thursday night – probably one of the harder nights for me as far as temptations go and over the past 5 weeks most of my slip up nights have been on Thursdays. Not last night though!! I stayed at my office late because I had to go and be a guest book reader at a library thing in the early evening and then a long lost acquaintance dropped by my office unexpectedly. She had been driving by on her way to a meeting that she had in the area and saw my car and decided to drop in. We used to work in the same circle a few years ago and I was often in meetings with her. Meetings where she had already hit the bottle or was drinking during (vodka in the pepsi bottle trick). Being around her in meetings made me want to drink – “I want that buzz! I want to float through this meeting without really knowing what’s going on and tune out most of the boring discussion too!”. Guaranteed I’d be picking up a bottle of wine as soon as I finished work on those days because I’d already been thinking non stop about it for hours. Last night she was already into the booze, but all I could think was “there’s no way I’m going to go and do this library thing with wine on my breath, AND there’s also no way I’m picking up a bottle on my way home afterwards either!” And I made it through the visit with her, and I made it to the library and did my thing and ran out right way (because I am really quite introverted and shy and I f’n hate things like that). I bought a bottle of WATER on my way home and when I got home I tackled a huge pile of dishes, made myself dinner (boyfriend was out) and then turned on the tv and watched some comedy shows. I checked my emails and had one to confirm that I had signed up for the 100 day challenge and attached to that was an 81 page document that had all of tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com’s first month’s blog posts. So I read that while drinking my detox tea.
PS – found a really easy, really good/healthy(?) recipe for “salted caramel dip” that filled my sweet cravings yesterday. I made a big batch so that I could take some with sliced apples to work and maybe prevent myself from running to the store to buy a king sized chocolate bar haha. salted-raw-caramel-dip from Detoxinista